Lifes tribulations

Lifes Tribulations or lifes trials whatever word best describes life at the moment.You're probably thinking what is she going on about?Well where do I start?Start from the beginning maybe?I'm referring to dealing with the hidden disability that so many people don't understand because its not always visible.Yes I've had the typical attitudes from people "CAN'T YOU CONTROL YOUR CHILD?"or the "THAT CHILD NEEDS DISCIPLINE".People who relate to this will understand about meltdowns,routines,social stories,endless psychiatric appointments,dealing with changes and medications.
My child got diagnosed when he was 8 after years of pushing and nagging GPs,consultants and hospitals.Endless tests and the endless "there is something wrong but its a jigsaw we need to put together".We got there in the end but it was a battle for an official "label".A lot of parents go through like a grieving process when they receive a diagnosis and then they start blaming themselves.Its hard not to blame yourself but you do,its human nature and totally natural.Then comes dealing with the reality everyone giving textbook advice but deep down you have to decide whats best for your child as no-one knows your child like you but then your child is also very good at giving unexpected "blips".
As a parent (i'm talking about high functioning autism)you have to learn to speak a different way ie stop using sayings like "you're eyes are bigger than your belly" you know the ones I'm talking about.Autistic people take it very literally!Believe me I've learnt that the hard way!!You learn how to write social stories to explain situations and changes,picture timetables communication cards,traffic light systems so you know when they're stressed etc.Its a lot of work but worth it when it works.
I think I've hit the worst patch,again!!The age of starting secondary education,new routines,new teachers and new faces plus the onslaught of puberty mixed with depression with psychotic tendencies.Great mixture which all accumulates to one hell of a major meltdown.Sometimes no amount of preparation can prepare you for it.It comes with an almighty bang.
Take last night for instance walking upstairs to have my bath and I see my child ready to pounce on me at the top of the stairs weapon in hand ready to attack me.Yes he did hit me with it BUT I talked him out of it.The more you scream the worse the meltdown but if you try and stay calm and keep talking in a calm tone while restraining it passes.
Would I change him?No he is unique and special and I love him to bits but beware next time you see a child having a tantrum dont judge.It could be something like autism ask if they are okay don't assume its a spoilt brat which is down to the parents.Life is not that black and white.Too many people nowadays make assumptions.Unless you have had a child beg you to put them in hospital because they are scared of themselves then don't.I love my boy so much he is very intelligent and always makes me proud.I will fight for him and I always will and I will do whatever it takes.